COMMUNICATION - CONVERSATION LINES FOR A FIRST DATE

COMMUNICATION - CONVERSATION LINES FOR A FIRST DATE

There is nothing worse, when meeting someone for the first time, than that awkward silence after the initial greeting. Kick the silence into orbit with these conversation starters: 

* How was your day?

* You look really nice, where did you get (item in question)?

* How was work?

* Have you seen any movies recently? How did you like it/them?

* What kind of music do you listen to?

* What sports do you play or like? How long have you played for?

* What interesting things did you do this weekend (week)?

* Have you ever been to (a local restaurant)?

* What kind of foods do you like?

* Where are you from?

* Where did you go to school/college?

* Have you read any good books lately? Was it interesting?

* What do you normally do for fun?

* Do you like (an interest of yours)?

* What's the neatest place you've traveled to?

* What's one place you haven't traveled to yet that you really want to go?

These simple ideas will get the conversation flowing and you will find out what the other is interested in. Be sure to listen carefully to what the other person says so that you can ask follow-up questions while learning new things.

THE BEST WAYS TO MEET A MAN TO DATE

THE BEST WAYS TO MEET A MAN TO DATE

1. Do not develop hard-and-fast rules about the ways you’re willing to go about your search. Some women, for instance, have a policy against being fixed up. But you need to be flexible and willing to experiment with a variety of strategies, particularly if you find yourself in a drought. My theory has always been that a winning prospect only comes around every six to seven blind dates, so you may have to chitchat with five chumps in order to get there. You also need to be flexible about the places you go to meet guys. If you head to the same bars all the time, you’re going to see the same old guys or the same type. There are always interesting new ways to meet men, and you need to keep your ear to the ground to hear what’s hot at a given moment. It keeps changing. One minute networking cocktail parties are all the rage, and the next something else is. I heard lately, for instance, that day spas are starting to offer times when singles can mingle. 

2. Be unashamedly proactive and methodical. Cold-hearted calculation doesn’t seem like a very magical approach to meeting the love of your life, but there will be plenty of time for magic once you’re dating. Tell yourself that you will do at least two specific things every week to facilitate your quest. And when opportunities present themselves, make things happen rather than just allowing them to unfold. For instance, if you see a hotty and there doesn’t seem to be an easy way to meet him, accidentally bump into him, for God’s sake. 

3. If you are going to a party, bar or event, don’t travel in huge wolf packs of women. It’s hard to break into a group that size, plus it’s easy for a guy to think that the moment he turns around after talking to you, all the other chicks are going to laugh hysterically about a comment he made or even the pants he’s wearing. Two is an OK number (you and a friend), but three is even better because one friend has a pal to talk to if you start chatting someone up. 

4. Avoid being too glam. When you’re all dolled up, you may feel like a man magnet, but guys are often put off by too much product. Lots of makeup and tons of designer labels scream high-maintenance, and guys don’t like that. One other tip: Consider wearing something that could be a conversation-starter, like a t-shirt with something funny written on it or a faux-fur vest that a guy may ask to touch. 

5. Have a drink in your hand. We once had a girl write a piece about her experience being a wing woman someone hired by shy guys to chat up women in bars and then introduce them. She provided a great tip: Don’t stand around empty-handed. If you’re holding a drink, a guy won’t feel he has to immediately buy one for you. But then later, if things are going well, ordering you a refill gives him something positive to do. 

6. Do not be too coy. Guys, as we know, like the chase. But if you seem too elusive, guys won’t approach. These days, men shy away from the slightest chance of rejection. So what’s a coy move that works? Make eye contact with an object of desire, hold for three seconds, and then look away. Repeat. If he’s interested, you’ve given him a pretty clear signal that it’s safe to head your way. Once you’re talking to a guy, you don’t want to be all over him. But let him know in a more subtle manner that you’re interested for instance, by laying your hand on his arm when you make a point. 

7. When there is an adorable guy suddenly in your path, don’t be so worried about saying the perfect thing that you end up saying nothing at all. As long as you seem friendly, you’ll be OK, so just get something out. Asking for help is a surefire conversation-starter. If you’re in an electronics store, try “Excuse me, could you tell me the difference between LCD and plasma screen TVs?” Humor can work, too. If you’re standing by an elevator, you could slyly say, “I hear that pressing the button 20 or 30 times actually does make it come faster.” Another good trick: playfully polling a guy. An example: “I’m taking a survey for the bar. Did you have to drive more than five miles to get here?” You could also come up with a question about yourself, like: “Do you think I should get blue contact lenses?” 

8. Be positive. A few years ago I arranged for a single friend of mine to sit next to a hot guy at a charity dinner. Through the night, I watched them from my table and I had every reason to believe things were going well. But later the guy told me that my friend had offered up an endless stream of negative riffs. She hated the subway, her boss, teacup dogs, e.t.c. She thought that confessing things she didn’t like was a way of bonding with him, but guys are turned off by negativity. 

9. Really hear what he has to say. When you’re nervous, it’s easy to become overly self-conscious. You might ask a guy you’ve just met plenty of questions, but be so worried about what to say next that you don’t pay close attention to his answers. Here’s a trick to help you focus: Wait a few beats after he says something and think about what he’s said. Then allow your next comment or question to really play off what he’s told you.

THE BEST WAYS TO FIND TRUE LOVE

THE BEST WAYS TO FIND TRUE LOVE

Look at the one right beside you

It's very common for single people to spend their time searching and searching for the "right person." Zen suggests that we stop running around and instead see what is right in front of our eyes.

Look at a person who is close to you in your life right now. Whether this is a friend, a potential mate or more, notice the ways in which you push him away. Stop doing that. Just allow the two of you to be together in whatever way you are. Accept everything about your relationship as it is.

Do the same thing tomorrow with someone else. This doesn't mean that you have to consider marrying every person who crosses your path. It's just an exercise to see how commonly you might dismiss people who are already in your world because you're busy waiting for the "right one" to appear. But the more "right" you can be with everyone, the more you can open up to the very real possibilities of the present.
 

Stop playing around with love

So many singles complain that they are not loved. The reason for this can be quite simple. They are so busy playing games that potential partners never get to know who they really are.

What roles or games do you play in relationships? What roles do you expect others to assume? Chances are, you follow a pretty clear pattern, but the question is: Are you falling in love with the person, or with the role that he plays? If you're not sure about your roles, turn them around for a little while. Try playing different roles. Experiment with someone who plays roles that you are not accustomed to. Notice how that feels.

The goal is to become aware of the difference between who you are and the roles you play. Eventually you'll be able to let the roles go and simply be who you are -- which is a Zen-like state of being. Who you are is always lovable and beautiful. It's the roles that get in the way.
 

Let partners come and go

One major obstacle in living a life of love is the tendency to hold on. We grasp and cling to each other, preventing the freedom of love from rising on its own. Zen asks us to let go.

When someone comes into your life, let him come. Welcome the person, whoever he is. Enjoy what it is he brings, even if it's only for a short time.

When it is time for a person to go away, let him go. Do not turn the person's leaving into an experience of rejection, loss or abandonment. Realize that his leaving has nothing to do with you. It is simply time for him to go.

Do this with yourself as well. Let yourself come and go freely in life, and don't get caught in unnecessary chains. The more you free yourself and others, the more easily you fall in love.
 

Put your baggage down

Many feel that love is not possible unless all their demands are met. However, these same people are repeatedly amazed when they find that these demands don't lead to happiness. Instead, the demands are just obstacles to falling in love.

What are your "must haves" for relationships? If you're not sure, write out the list and take a good look at it. Realize that this is baggage that may be keeping all kinds of people and possibilities away. This baggage may also make you fearful, rigid and closed off to what is available for you right now. Zen asks us to break free of old demands.

Try letting one of these demands subside for just one day. Notice how you feel without it. (Remember, you can always take it back again.) Then try it another day. As you do this many times, you may find that things you thought were crucial for your life were really getting in the way. The more you do this, the more light and happy you will feel. Plus, this openness allows all kinds of new people, possibilities and situations to start coming your way. You will have made room for them by putting your baggage down.
 

Give gifts

Giving and receiving are at the core of every relationship. When we are in love, this is never a problem. We naturally give and are happy with whatever is offered in return. If you want to open up to falling in love, adopt this state of mind and start giving naturally.

What gifts do you give others in relationships? What do you hope to receive in return? Now take a moment to consider what else you can give someone. Then give it. Do this every day. Each day, give something else. It does not have to be fancy or expensive -- or even a material object -- just something that will add to his or her day. Then do this with all kinds of different people. Zen is about doing this kind of thing quietly without great fanfare and without expecting something in return.

Do this with yourself as well. Take a moment to find out what kind of gift you would like. Simple examples are taking a walk in the park, buying a new lipstick or spending time with someone you care for. Now give yourself a gift each day.

Although this exercise is simple, it is extremely powerful. Doing this daily can turn everything around in your relationships. When you give, remember not to look for anything in return (not even a smile or thank you). Just give to give, with no expectations, no demands. By living with this open, generous mind, all kinds of other gifts come to you naturally.
 

Make friends with yourself

Many people say they are lonely, even when they have a partner at their side. This is simply because they have not yet made friends with themselves. According to Zen, once you come to terms with yourself and appreciate who you are on a personal level, it is impossible to be lonely anymore.

Make friends with yourself. Spend time noticing who you are. Accept all parts of yourself. Stop judging and rejecting what is going on inside. Be still and look within.

Start with this exercise. Pay attention to your breath and just notice what is going on. Let it be. Accept it, and return to the breathing. Understand that, breath by breath, underneath the clamor, you are perfect just as you are. Can you choose to be this natural self in relationships? Can you choose to have relationships with those who want and appreciate just what you are? Making positive changes in your life -- and your relationships -- can start with something as simple as taking off your shoes.

MARRIAGE CAN CURE DEPRESSION

MARRIAGE CAN CURE DEPRESSION

With apologies to about thousands of stand up comedians, marriage may be the cure for depression, rather than the cause of it.

In fact, researchers say, people who experience depression before they get married are the most likely to get emotional health benefits from marriage. 

Using a depression scale whose scores ranged from zero to 84, the researchers found that the scores of depressed people went down by almost 8 points after marriage, while those who weren't depressed had just under a 2-point drop after marriage.

Even the study authors were surprised by their findings. "We thought people who were depressed would be less likely to benefit from marriage than others," said study co-author Kristi Williams, an assistant professor of sociology at Ohio State University in Columbus. "We thought depression would put a strain on the marriage."

Williams and her co-author, Adrianne Frech, a doctoral student at Ohio State, presented the results of their study August. 13 at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association, in Montreal.

This research comes on the heels of another study that found that people who never marry had a greater chance of dying early than people who were married. In fact, people who'd never married had an even higher risk of early death than people who were divorced, separated or widowed, suggesting that marriage confers some sort of health benefit, even if it doesn't work out.

Using data from the National Survey of Families and Households, the Ohio State researchers gathered information on more than 3,000 people who were single at the start of the study in 1987-88. The survey participants were interviewed again sometime between 1992 and 1994.

To assess whether or not people were depressed, they were asked 12 questions, such as how many days in the past week they "felt like they could not shake off the blues, "felt lonely," or "slept restlessly."

About 29 percent were depressed at the start of the study, according to Williams.

During the second part of the study, they gathered information on who had gotten married and reassessed depression.

Williams said at that time, 30 percent of those who remained unmarried were depressed, while only 26 percent of those who got married were depressed.

The researchers found that those who were depressed seemed to gain the most mental health benefits from getting married, with depressed people enjoying nearly a six-point higher reduction in their depression scores after marriage than non-depressed people.

"We actually found the opposite of what we expected. We thought depressed people would be less likely to benefit from marriage because the depression of one spouse can put a strain on the marriage and undermine marital quality," Frech said in a prepared statement.

As to why depressed people may enjoy more benefits from matrimony, Williams theorized, "We think that depressed people may have more to gain from the emotional support and close intimate ties that come with marriage."

That doesn't mean people who aren't depressed won't have happy marriages, Williams quickly added: "If you start out happy, you don't have as far to go." 

The findings don't mean that depressed people should substitute marriage for depression treatment either, she said.

"This was just an average association," said Williams. "We're not saying that depressed individuals should run out and get married."

"Clearly, one should not look upon these results as recommending that depressed people should get married," said Dr. Charles Goodstein, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine in New York City. "The likelihood is strong that such a marriage might fall apart." 

But, he added, these study results suggest that depressed people stand to gain more from marriage. "At the very least, the depressed person gets the sense that there's someone who cares about them."

However, Goodstein also pointed out that this particular survey may not accurately assess depression.

"Depression is a much more complicated matter than can be diagnosed on a survey. There is such a wide range of what we call depression, and many people can pass through society without being seen as depressed," he said.

Williams agreed that the survey used in this study can't be used to diagnose individual depression, but said it was designed to give an estimate of depression in a community population.

HOW TO REKINDLE A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP

HOW TO REKINDLE A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP

A happy, long-term relationship is great and something we all want. However, even the best and happiest long term relationships can suffer from routine sex. 

The sex might be good, but it is not what it used to be nor is it everything that it could be. While you might be content, what you really want is a way to spice things up and turn your good sex life into a fantastic sex life – and keep it that way. 

Be Spontaneous 

If you want it, do it. I don’t mean drop whatever you are doing and have sex wherever you happen to be when the urge strikes you – that might be inadvisable, particularly if you happen to be in public, or surrounded by children. 

Instead, let sex sometimes take priority over other trivial things that you normally would want to get done first. If you can afford the time, be ten minutes late to work because you were having a morning quicky. If you are cleaning up, watching television, or paying bills stop what you are doing, put it out of your mind and give into your desires. 

If it can wait – and most often it really can – then let it wait. 

Try Something New 

This applies to what you do in the bedroom as much as to time spent out of it. Outside of the bedroom try doing something that both of you have never done before. Go sky diving, rock climbing, try new food, take dance lessons, travel. Spending exciting quality time together serves to cement your bond and makes physical intimacy that much more fulfilling. 

In the bedroom, spend some time talking candidly about your fantasies, old and new. Try your best not to judge each other so that you can both be as open as possible. At the same time don’t be afraid to say that you are uncomfortable with something, but express this in a non-judgmental way in terms of personal preference rather than a put down. 

Don’t say: “Ewww what kind of weirdo would want that? I can’t believe I’ve been dating you for (fill in the blank)!” Try to say: “Interesting, but just not my thing.” 

Once you have found something new you both want to try, explore it fully and enjoy! 

Dress Up 

Once you’ve found someone it’s easy to slack off in terms of your physical appearance. While it’s healthy to be able to be around someone with bad hair in crummy clothes, it’s equally important to take some time every now and again to try. 

You might want to wear something sexy to bed, work on toning your body, or get dressed up for a night out on the town. 

Compliment Each Other

Pretty much everyone likes to be told they are good-looking. Some are more modest than others but you would be hard pressed to find someone who truly dislikes being told that they are attractive. 

Compliments help build self-esteem and a more confident lover will be more likely to try new and exciting things or throw themselves into what they are doing. 

Also, giving compliments helps both partners feel appreciated, needed and loved. Often, once you have been with someone for a while it is easy to forget to compliment them as often as you used to, the rationale being something along the lines of: “well I told them before and they know it”. 

It’s always pleasant to be reminded and to be reassured of the fact that your lover feels as attracted to you now as they did on day one. 

Teasing & Foreplay 

Don’t always get right to it. Sometimes, getting what you want right away can be tremendously satisfying. However, if you are always instantly satisfied, you might begin to take sex and your partner for granted. You will begin to feel entitled and sex will become just something you expect. 

In order to prevent this from happening, or remedy it once it has, build up to the moment. Tease each other throughout the day. Express desire without immediately fulfilling it. Once you have each other alone, cuddle, kiss and make out for as long as you can before actually getting down to business. 

Forget About the Bed 

This pretty much means have sex anywhere but on your bed. Try the floor, a chair, the kitchen table, the shower, or if you are feeling particularly risqué, do it outside. 

I’ve heard some pretty bizarre locations mentioned, among them: the mall after hours, a tree in a field, on a building, a forest and a golf course at night. It’s not necessary to go quite so extreme; the main point is to explore intimacy in a location that you would not normally.

HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN - KNOWING WHAT WOMEN WANT

HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN - KNOWING WHAT WOMEN WANT

Okay, so it is true. Women can be complicated creatures. But what human being isn’t? Although we each have our own needs, quirks and foibles, when it comes down to it, there are a few basic things that every woman wants. Now it’s up to the men to pay attention. 

It’s amazing to me how many articles, television shows, movies, songs, and books exist about male and female relationships. And how sadly accurate many of them are. With all this material out there, why do so many problems still exist between men and women? 

The Gender Gap 

Men aren’t listening. And I don’t really blame them. I don’t even like Sex and the City so I can’t expect my boyfriend to faithfully watch every episode and quote it like some almighty dating bible. Although that show is full of things that men would (rightfully) cringe at, there are points to heed. Namely, cliches exist for a reason. 

The things that seem painfully obvious to women are going unnoticed by men, likely because they haven’t spent hours happily identifying with women indulging in insecurities and sharing laughs about terrible dates. So women – give your man a break here and realize that although you feel inundated with ideas for dating, romance and sex, many men have put the blinders on because those things just don’t seem important to them. That is, until they are left out in the cold, heartbroken because the girl of their dreams gave them the boot for seemingly no reason. 

Pay Attention Boys 

Here’s the thing – women want a few basic things: trust, loyalty, friendship, laughs, respect. And a satisfying sex life. Nothing earth shattering. 

Here’s where we get annoyed – when things about women that seem built into pop culture, escape your minds. I understand that you may not want to watch Oprah and see every “chick flick” out there but there are certain things that you really should know by now. 

To clarify:
· We do not like to be called fat. 
· We need foreplay. 
· We like to be called if you are going to be late. These are three little things that can make a huge difference in a relationship. Maybe they don’t seem like a big deal to you men or maybe you don’t understand, but we don’t need you to. Just do them. Please. 

Be a Gentleman 

If you want to go above and beyond the basics, it’s also good to keep in mind that women like to be treated nicely. Again, I wouldn’t think you’d have to be told and I’m sure many of you don’t, but lately I’ve been hearing some pretty incredible stories from friends. In one story, a guy asked my friend out, took her to a bar, ordered her a drink and then summoned her to come pay for hers. Boy was she swept off her feet! 

Don’t get me wrong, neither she, nor I, nor most women are looking for Mr. Fancy Pants to wine and dine us and spend all his money on us. Negative stereotypes of men and women don’t help us get any closer to understanding each other. It’s not the saved money and free drinks we appreciate, it’s the chivalry, the extra effort. That little gesture that says I care. It doesn’t have to be monetary, it can be holding a door, a compliment, even just turning off the cell phone while you are out together. 

Mutual Appreciation 

I’m sure no man goes out with the intention of annoying a girl or being insensitive. There are differences between how men and women relate, so it should be expected on both ends by now that things don’t always progress seamlessly. 

The effort really does make a difference. We are all from different walks of life and have different expectations for each other and for life in general. Women want to be appreciated, as I’m sure men do. It may seem crazy to you if a girl flies off the handle because you were an hour late, but the thing is, women can be a little crazy. Evidently unbeknownst to some of you, women spend hours primping and preparing for dates, for our boyfriends, even for our husbands. Legs must be shaved, makeup applied, hair done so that we feel attractive and sexy for you! 

If a woman does something nice for you and you notice, (please tell me you notice), tell her. If she cooks you dinner, try to return the favor. Be honest and supportive and she will do the same for you.

HOW TO OVERCOME JEALOUSY IN A RELATIONSHIP

HOW TO OVERCOME JEALOUSY IN A RELATIONSHIP

Jealousy is a human emotion that we all instinctively experience at some point in our lives. Jealousy can refer to a strong desire for or envy of someone else’s success, stature, or possessions. 

Taken in a social context, it can refer to a perceived threat to a valued relationship or to its quality. Jealousy may cause someone to be doubtful of his or her partner and feel threatened by his or her interaction with certain people. It involves a fear of losing the other person. 

There are different kinds of jealousy and educating yourself on them may help you and your partner develop a stronger relationship. 

Healthy Jealousy 

Jealousy doesn’t necessarily indicate negative connotations in all cases. After all, it is quite natural for men and women to be protective and possessive of the one that they love. In a relationship, when feelings of jealousy are mild and occasional, it reminds the couple not to take each other for granted. It can encourage couples to appreciate one another and make an effort to ensure the other person feels valued. 

Having reservations about your significant other going to a strip club, the sight of him or her drooling over an attractive person of the opposite sex, or witnessing him or her flirting with someone else are innocent examples of how jealousy can be a perfectly normal reaction. 

Destructive Jealousy 

Sometimes, jealous feelings can balloon out of proportion. It is a completely different story when jealousy becomes frequent, intense, and irrational. Once you reach this stage, you obsessively begin to question your lover’s loyalty to you and it sends you into a blind rage. You may even try to restrict your partner’s interactions with other people and constantly monitor where he or she goes and what he or she does. 

If you can’t control your jealousy, it is bound to be detrimental to your relationship. It eats away at the most important thing holding it together – trust. It can leave your loved one constantly feeling like they are walking on eggshells. 

If you find yourself drifting into the realm of harmful and unhealthy jealousy, there are things you can do to prevent it from ruining your current and future relationships. 

Identify the Root of the Problem 

What is causing this unfounded jealousy? You may behave this way because you have been cheated on in the past. This may cause you to be more possessive and controlling in a new relationship for fear of repetition, even if he or she has never given you a reason to be doubtful. 

If this is the case, it is important to deal with these feelings and insecurities before you enter a new relationship. Harboring unresolved feelings from past relationships is a sure sign that you aren’t ready for a new one. 

Give yourself a Reality Check 

Focus on what is really happening, not what you perceive to be happening. How realistic is the threat? What evidence do you have that your relationship is in danger? Distinguish fact from fiction. 

If you have no solid grounds for feeling jealous, your false accusations will cause a lot of unnecessary strain on the relationship. Don’t let your imagination draw a negative picture of your partner. 

Positive Self-Talk 

Sometimes, you need to give yourself a pep talk. When you start feeling those twinges of jealousy, remind yourself that your partner loves you and is committed to you. Realize that he or she is with you for a reason. These self-affirmations can help you boost your confidence. 

Seek Reassurance 

If you can’t talk yourself out of a jealous funk, perhaps communicating your feelings will help resolve your insecurities. One of the best ways to beat jealousy is to ask your partner for reassurance. Make sure you don’t take an accusatory, nagging, or bullying tone with him or her. Instead, share your feelings of doubt and ask them to help you overcome them.

By communicating your feelings, you can work out solutions together. 

Get an Objective Opinion 

Ask a close friend to take note of your behaviour around your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes, you aren’t fully aware of your actions, especially when emotions like jealousy cloud your judgment. By getting a neutral party’s perspective, it can help you fully understand the extent of your actions.

A good friend will let you know if your behaviour is out of control and destructive. 

Set Boundaries from the Start 

Try establishing some general guidelines at the beginning of the relationship. Let your partner know what is and isn’t acceptable for you. Be careful not to use this piece of advice as a means to control your boyfriend or girlfriend, just let him or her know what makes you tick.

For example, how far is too far when it comes to flirting? Telling your partner what makes you uncomfortable can also help you trust him or her more since you are divulging sensitive feelings.

SIGNS OF AN ATTRACTIVE MAN

SIGNS OF AN ATTRACTIVE MAN

Attractiveness doesn't only come as looks. Regardless of how good looking you are, if you don't know what to do, what not to do, what to say, and what not to say, your chance of landing your dream girl is slim to none. 

Most often, popular guys are not the ones with celebrity looks, but the ones who have mastered themselves in the art of “true attractiveness.” For those still struggling with what makes men truly attractive to women, I offer some advice.

Be Responsible

You are going on a date with your girlfriend, you are driving, and luckily, you get stuck in traffic. Suddenly, you start venting about how everyone should just stay home and not bring their stupid cars out just to jam the street. You complain about how the road system in the city sucks and how you will not be able to make it to the movie on time. What would your girlfriend think of you? 

How about using that time to have a conversation about something you haven't spoken about so far? You are the one who initiated the date, so why not try to make the most out of this not-so-pleasant situation? 

Instead of venting at everybody, which does nothing more than show how immature you are, start a conversation about the movie you will be seeing that evening. Or, if you have that sense of humour, crack a few jokes, which is totally harmless. Your girlfriend will definitely notice how hard you are trying to lighten up the situation - and she'll enjoy it, too.

Be Humble

Every person this planet values humility as one of the greatest human virtues. Women like men who are confident but at the same time, humble. As a society, we sometimes take humility to mean lack of confidence, but humility and confidence can definitely go together. When such a combination is found in a man, a woman will definitely be attracted. 

Loosen Up

What's even more important than the look is the voice. A Man who has a low tone of voice and relaxed shoulders exudes confidence and appeal to women. They see him as reliable. If you look too strained, even though your portfolio might be stellar, women generally will not find you as attractive.

The Little Things Matter

Kindness is good, but if kindness is the only thing going for you, you are out of luck. Add a tough side to your kindness and you will boost your score on the popularity scale.

If your girlfriend is struggling with the menu, take the lead and say, “Why don't we try this? It's really good. You will like it.” Don't just sit there and keep asking, “So, what do you want?” There is a difference between rushing her and taking the lead. The latter is a very good thing! You are sure to earn a few extra points.

Be an Entertainer

An entertainer doesn't have to be on TV every night. If you have what it takes to make your girlfriend laugh, cry, smile, and frown, then you are her entertainer. 

Love must be true and genuine, but just for now, treat your relationship like stage. Think about each scene, where each character is and what they will say. Think about how the play will begin and end. Make her the heroine and you, her prince charming.

Every girl says they want to meet prince charming, and he is character straight out of a story. You may not be prince charming but you can be the closest thing there is.

SIGNS THAT HE IS NOT THE ONE

SIGNS THAT HE IS NOT THE ONE

After enduring weeks of single girl sympathy, you finally agreed to let your cousin set you up with that "great guy" she knows. Since you said yes, you figure you might as well make the most of it and keep an open mind. But, just in case, you ask your best friend to call your cell about a half hour into the date so you can fake an emergency if needed. 

Actually, it's not even faking. Bad dates are emergencies. However, lucky for you, there are warning signs that the person you are out with is, and always will be, a terrible date. If you are unlucky enough to experience any of them first hand, make sure to answer your friend's call saying, "Oh no! That's terrible! I'll be right over." 

He's Late 

This one is pretty basic. If a guy doesn't have enough enthusiasm for the date to actually show up on time, you shouldn't expect to be impressed by the rest of the night. Obviously, there are times when you just can't help it, but he'd better have a good reason if he shows up at your door even 15 minutes late. 

He's Not Dressed to Impress 

You've spent hours on your hair and a pile of rejected clothes covers your bed. You are finally dressed to the nines in the perfect outfit and ready for the evening. You open the door and are surprised to be greeted by your date in torn jeans and a stained t-shirt. You doubt he's washed his hair today (or yesterday). You expected a nice night out and he shows up looking like he's dressed for a monster truck rally. 

He Takes you to a Monster Truck Rally 

Original and unique first dates are a great way to stand out from the rest of the fish in the sea, but there are exceptions. He should at least do a little research into your style before he plans an unusual activity. Sure, he might really love hot dogs and monster trucks, but if you were thinking fine dining and theatre, there's bound to be trouble.

The fact that he didn't bother to ask your opinion beforehand (or at least get the matchmaker's thoughts on the plan) doesn't bode well for how he's going to respect your needs and wants in the future. 

He Expects You to Pay 

It's not absolutely necessary that he pick up the check. Along with all those useful freedoms like voting, the feminist movement also brought us the responsibility of at least offering to pay for half the date. Most guys still think it's chivalrous to pick up the tab for the first date and there's nothing wrong with indulging his male ego (after an appropriate amount of protesting of course). 

No girl is expecting a man to drop a fortune on a first date, but a guy who expects you to pay for everything without lifting a finger to open his own wallet doesn't give off the impression that he cares much what you think of him. In fact, he probably won't see a second date (and maybe not even the end of the first one). A good rule of thumb for payment is: whoever asks for the date, pays for the date. 

He Talks About his Ex 

So maybe you escaped the monster truck rally, but instead of choking on exhaust fumes and standing in a sea of drunken mullets, you get to hear all about his wonderful or horrible ex-girlfriend. Bonus trouble points if he had a nasty breakup and insists on sharing the details with you.

If he refers to his ex even once with a derogatory insult that you wouldn't call your worst enemy, run for the hills now. It's not a good sign if he can't say anything nice about the last woman with whom he had a significant relationship. 

How Can I Put This.? He's a Weirdo. 

Yes, it's time to weed out those with personal quirks that you find distasteful or generally unacceptable. This will be different for every woman of course (some chicks really dig witchcraft, guys that live with their moms or Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts). Regardless, that tight knot that is forming in your stomach while you listen to his ideas, habits and activities, should not be ignored. 

Awkward Moments vs. Awkward Hours 

When he's not filling you in on his wacky life, the conversation stalls into silence or unintelligible grunting. It's normal to have a little awkwardness or difficulty getting conversation to flow in the beginning of a first date, but if after a few minutes, he still can't think of a single question to ask about your life or keep up with the conversation, it's time to call it a night.

If it's twenty minutes in and you've run out of things to talk about, you probably don't have much of a future together.

WHAT IS PUPPY LOVE ?

WHAT IS PUPPY LOVE ?

To be very blunt about it, Puppy Love can also be referred to as "false love". Puppy love usually happens to younger couples that are inexperienced and/or very naive, although it has been known to happen to mature couples as well.

A relationship based on puppy love always involves lots of cute pet names for one another as well as an extreme need to make the relationship general knowledge; this is often achieved by, although not limited to, sitting on each others' laps and kissing in the public eye.

It is called puppy love because the feelings associated with it are similar to those you would have for a puppy dog. Soon enough, the novelty wears off.

LIVING WITH YOUR LOVER - ( REAL ESTATE - HOME BUYING / SHARING )

LIVING WITH YOUR LOVER - ( REAL ESTATE - HOME BUYING / SHARING )

Living together is a really big step in a relationship and is a sign of commitment from both parties involved. The effects and consequences of making the move are difficult to predict as every situation is different. Whether living together is right for your relationship will depend on how you view the situation and what you are willing to sacrifice.

The Pros

The great thing about moving in together is that you can "test the waters" for marriage. If everything is still well after living together for a while, and you have accepted this person's routines and habits, this experience will add to the foundation of the new marriage if that were to happen down the road.

You can both use this opportunity to really get to know your partner, specifically, their bad habits and undesirable qualities that may have lay dormant before living together. There may be something about their habits at home that strikes a pet peeve of yours. It is better to discover these things now rather than after marriage, as it is much easier to get out of a living situation than a marriage if the unfortunate case may arise.

The main argument of the opposition to moving in is that it takes away all the excitement when you do decide to get married. It just defeats the purpose of your whole marriage altogether and gives you nothing to look forward to.

What may also end up happening is that one person may become far too comfortable with the situation while the other is left wondering if the marriage will ever happen.

Then there is always the religion aspect of things. A man and a woman are not meant to be sexually active before a marriage. And let's face it, living together and sharing the same bed may make this rule a bit difficult to adhere to.

HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES

HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES

WAYS TO SAY I LOVE U
English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female) 
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi 
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a 
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male) 
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy 
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo 
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female) 
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male) 
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw 
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene 
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu 
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort 
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan 
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu 
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female) 
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo 
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female) 
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male) 
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di 
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

TAKING YOUR LOVER BACK ( BOYFRIEND ) - SHOULD YOU ?

TAKING YOUR LOVER BACK ( BOYFRIEND ) - SHOULD YOU ?

The Happy Times Vs the Sad Times

If you have to put thought into whether the happy times surpassed the sad times, the answer should be clear: Don't give him a second chance because he didn't make you happy. Giving him another chance will only cause you to revisit the past and encounter the same problems over again. If you had major problems then chances are they aren't likely to dissolve into thin air.

All relationships have their ups and downs but emotional turmoil should not be an everyday occurrence. If he doesn't understand why you get upset at him all the time, then it might be the right time to find someone who can communicate on the same level as you and understand why you react the way you do.

However, if you've worked through problems successfully before and feel as though your relationship encompasses something special which is worth working out, give it another shot.

The Opinions of Friends

Did your family and friends approve of your ex-boyfriend who is trying to make his way back into your life?

Your friends and family are the ones who know you best and support the fact that you should be treated in a way that keeps you happy. They are your personal support system and are always at your side when you need a shoulder to cry on, and they provide you with advice when you are confused or distraught.

If your friends and family don't approve of your ex-boyfriend who is trying to weasel himself back into your life then it might be a sign. How can you allow a man who isn't respected by the closest people in your life to claim such an important status in your life? Does he really deserve it, or did he manipulate you in order to obtain such a place in your heart?

Clearly, figuring out whether or not he deserves a spot in your social circle should be thought through before you let him back into your life.

The Reasons Behind the Break Up

Take some time to reflect on a moment in the past when he broke your heart. Do you remember yourself crying on a friend's shoulder or drinking the night away with friends in order to forget about the way he hurt you or made you cry? Are you prepared to repeat such a process if his scheming ways strike again?

Heartbreak can be encountered in any relationship. However, giving a guy another chance once he has already broken your heart can be an extremely regrettable judgment call. An important question to ask yourself is why you would want to be with him if he doesn't want to be with you. Unless you are able to communicate what went wrong previously and how you can make things better, conflict will be an inevitable and unavoidable matter.

Look at all Sides

Examining all these factors is important before determining whether or not he deserves a second chance. The answer might be quite clear even though you refuse to admit it to yourself. You might find yourself searching for reasons to let him crawl back into your life, but make sure you remember how you were treated previously and ask yourself if it is what you really want in a relationship.

Figuring out whether or not there is a spot for him in your future is ultimately your own personal decision. 

Happiness matters most

Sometimes women fall back into relationships because they are used to a certain routine of being with a man, or simply don't want to feel lonely. But revisiting a painful past while realizing you could be exploring new options will just cause an elevated level of emotional anxiety.

Feeling happy with yourself is the most important and if getting back together with your ex-boyfriend will prohibit this from happening, then it is time to move on.

TRUE LOVE OR FAKE LOVE - HOW TO KNOW IF IT IS REAL

TRUE LOVE OR FAKE LOVE - HOW TO KNOW IF IT IS REAL

Finding out if what you have is true love can be tricky. Feelings must be analyzed before they can be identified for what they truly are. The best way to find out how you really feel about someone is to sit down and dissect the relationship.

Signs Of Not Real Love

Possible signs that it isn't true love is you...
think of your partner as absolutely perfect 
are concerned with your needs first 
need to spend all your free time with your partner 
quickly became infatuated with your partner 
tend to be jealous easily 
can't come to a compromise after fighting 
Signs Of A True Love

Possible signs that what you have may be true love is you...
accept your partner and their flaws 
are concerned with your partner's needs first 
are comfortable being apart from one another 
slowly fell for your partner 
trust your partner completely 
are able to resolve a fight and grow stronger through it

THINGS THAT KILL A LOVING RELATIONSHIP

THINGS THAT KILL A LOVING RELATIONSHIP

Not Listening

Communication is the crux of all relationships, and if the communication is not strong then your relationship will not be. Not only is talking about your feelings important, but listening is also vital.

When your mate is unleashing his or her emotions on you, make it evident that you are taking what he or she says into consideration. Do this by showing a sincere interest in things you know are important to him or her, regardless if it is a minor thing or a major thing. 

Also, if your significant other notifies you of an aspect of your personality or behavior that he or she dislikes that is within reason, try your hardest to prevent yourself from doing such things in the future. Although you may not completely eliminate that annoying habit, the effort that you show will be enough to satisfy that person. 

Excess Baggage

Everyone has baggage; however, the key is dealing with that baggage and not allowing it to influence your relationship. 

Everyone goes through obstacles throughout their day that cause stress. However, by no means should you tell your mate every time you are upset. With that said, do tell the person when something major happens to you-not when you've been plagued with something as minor as a paper cut. Nobody likes to be burdened with other people's downfalls on a constant basis because they are dealing with their own misfortunes as well. 

Commitment Problems

With time, a certain comfort level is reached in a relationship. When this happens, a relationship becomes serious, or in other words, committed. For some, the word "committed" entails labels and obligations. 

In order to be in a committed relationship, you must be mature and realize that it will take hard work and dedication to maintain. Make sure that your mate knows where he or she stands with you at all times. This is achieved through actions. Show your mate how much he or she means to you by writing a sentimental poem or by literally telling that person. 

Commitment is scary for many because it serves as the end to just being you and the beginning for you being two. So if you are in fact serious about your mate, do not force him or her into a commitment; rather, let things ease into that stage. Do this first by taking the relationship day to day, and then as things progress, subtly slip hints that you are beginning to think about your future together.

Family Matters 

The family – you have to love them even though most times it would be easier to throw pixie dust on them and wish they would vanish off to Never land. However, the reality is that you must make sure you are on your best behavior in front of them if you want a serious long-lasting relationship with your mate. 

Keep in mind that you must think of this task as a job. You can make a great first impression, but the staying power of that impression is what counts. Make sure the family feels that you are not only getting to know them for your mate, but that you are also getting to know them because you actually like them as people. With that said, invite them to join you in activities that do not include your mate such as shopping. 

Also, make sure you exercise great mannerisms. This means always cleaning the table after a meal without being asked and always offering to help in chores around the house. Not only must you go that extra mile, but you also must make sure you impress while doing so. This means always bringing a dish of the family's favorite food each time you come over, or calling the person's mom when at the supermarket to see if she needs anything. 

Being a Workaholic 

In this day and age, the height of success is a long and rough road to travel. In your voyage to riches, you may unintentionally neglect your special someone. 

Your mate can only be so supportive. Remember a long-lasting relationship is as fulfilling as a successful career. As a career entails obstacles and levels to reach the top, so do relationships. However, this does not mean to place your relationship over your career, but rather balance the two. 

To maintain this juggling act, you should try to invite your mate to work gatherings and keep him or her updated on the events in your career. This way they will feel connected to that aspect of your life and will be more understanding if you sometimes decide to choose work over them.

YOU DON’T NEED THEM

If your mate still ends up breaking up with you even after all of this, do not waste your time being upset; rather, be relieved with the reassurance that you can do much better.

CREATING THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP - HOW TO BE ROMANTIC

CREATING THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP - HOW TO BE ROMANTIC

The guide that follows is a listing of 101 ways to having a more perfect relationship with the lover of your dreams. While most tips are intended for guys, I am sure you ladies are creative enough to reverse the genders and use them yourselves. I wrote this list a few years back when I was in love with someone (I wasn't single at the time) and although some of the items listed may have been influenced from other lists I had picked up here and there, most of them came from my own experience. Obviously there may be some things listed that just aren't for you, and that's understandable. I wrote this to be a general guide that can help all kinds of couples. I guarantee that by doing some or all of these things with your romantic partner, you will be well on your way to having a more perfect relationship. I realize most of these are not about sex, but they easily can be if you want to add it!
 

1. Watch the sunset together
2. Back rubs/messages
3. French kiss
4. Hold them with hands inside the back of their shirt
5. Whisper to each other
6. Cook for each other
7. French kiss in the rain
8. Dress each other
9. Undress each other
10. Kiss every part of their body
11. Hold hands often
12. Sleep together (actually sleep together, not sex)
13. Sit and talk in just underwear
14. Buy surprise gifts for each other
15. Roses, daisies, or wild flowers
16. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars
17. Kiss them every chance you get
18. Don't wear underwear and let them find out
19. Lightly kiss their collarbone and jawbone just below their ear, then whisper "I love you."
20. Write poetry for each other
21. Kiss/smell their hair
22. Hugs are the universal medicine
23. Say "I love you" only when you mean it, and make sure they know you mean it
24. Tell her she's the only girl you ever want, and don't lie
25. Spend every second possible together
26. Tell her she never has to do anything she doesn't want to do, and mean it
27. Look into each other's eyes often
28. Very lightly push up their chin, look into their eyes, tell them you love them, and kiss them
29. Talk to each other using only your eyes, body language, and by humming different pitches
30. When in public, only flirt with each other
31. Walk behind them and put your hands in their front pockets
32. Put love notes in their pockets when they don't know it
33. Buy an inexpensive ring, place it on their finger, and say "I do."
34. Sing to each other
35. Read to each other
36. PDA's
37. Take advantage of any time alone together to cuddle
38. Draw a picture together
39. Let them sit on your lap
40. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, cheeks, collarbones, hands, and ears.
41. Kiss her on her stomach with an oceanic kiss (draw in a short breath or air just before the kiss)
42. Hold them around their hips/sides
43. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand, and place it over your heart
44. Unless you can hear their heart beating, then you aren't close enough
45. Dance together
46. Cherish the picture you see when she falls asleep in your arms
47. Carry her when you have to walk through mud, or she's tired, cold, or even if she asks
48. Do cute things like write "I love you" on a piece of paper so they have to hold it up to a mirror to read it
49. Make excuses to call them often
50. Even if you are extremely busy doing something and they are away and know you are busy, go out of your way to call and say "I love you" or something else to show them you do
51. Call them from your vacation spot and tell them you miss them and were thinking about them, and be sure to mean it
52. Remember your dreams, and share them with each other
53. Ride your bike a healthy distance to see them if even just for a few hours, even if you have a car
54. After you've ridden/driven home, call them
55. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears
56. Be Prince Charming to her parents, and mean it
57. Act out a mutual non-sexual fantasy together
58. Brush her hair out of her face for her
59. Stay up all night and think of 101 ways to be sweet to them
60. Talk to her friends as well as her when you are all together
61. Go to church/worship/pray together, even if you aren't religious
62. Take her to see a movie and remember all the parts she liked
63. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear night
64. Learn from each other and never make the same mistakes twice
65. Everyone deserves a second chance
66. Describe the joy that you genuinely feel just to be with him/her
67. Make obvious sacrifices for each other
68. Love each other together, don't just be together
69. You figure it out. (Haha.)
70. Write a story about how you met and fell in love with them, and give it to them
71. Let there never be a second during the day you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it
72. Pray about them every night before going to bed
73. Love yourself before you love anyone else
74. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages
75. Dedicate songs on the radio to them if you can, even if you know they aren't listing so everyone else can know how you feel
76. Fall asleep on the phone with each other (intentionally)
77. Stand up for them if someone talks trash, whether or not they are present
78. Never forget the kiss goodnight, and always remember to say "sweet dreams"
79. Always try to tell them everything you love about them, and mean it
80. Draw cute little pictures and symbols on the letters you give them
81. Give her something of personal value for her to keep as a reminder of your love for her
82. Never do anything with other members of the opposite sex that you wouldn't do with them there with you
83. Find a particular tree in the part to call your own, and go there often to talk about your day
84. Make sure to put their wishes before your own
85. Always remember the anniversary and plan something special for the occasion; forgive and forget if they forget the anniversary
86. Board games on rainy days
87. Always say "bless you" or "God bless you" when she sneezes
88. Share with your friends how much you love them, and be truthful
89. Open your heart to them as much as or more than they do to you
90. Always say good, truthful things to them to cheer them up when they need it
91. Never talk about problems with ex's
92. Go on a walk and pick flowers for her (with or without her)
93. Be true to yourself- be true to each other, and always be true
94. Spend time thinking of creative dates
95. Go on one of those creative dates
96. To settle an argument, think of what is right, not who is right
97. Never say anything you know will make them jealous
98. Tell her parents how much you love her
99. Find a particular star in the night sky to call your own. When you know you can't be together, set a time for both of you to look at the same star and think of each other.
100. Fill your heart with love, and fill theirs with yours
101. Never wait for them to say "I love you" first, and always say it in return with meaning.

THE BEST WAYS TO UNDERSTAND A MAN

THE BEST WAYS TO UNDERSTAND A MAN

10. ALL BLACK SHOES LOOK THE SAME TO HIM: Of course this may be somewhat of an exaggeration. But face it, Ladies... Men typically are not offered as many styles in the same color as women are. Therefore, that strappy black sling back, is exactly the same as the peep toe black sling back.

9. "HOW WAS YOUR DAY?" doesn't mean "How was your day?”: As insensitive as it sounds, when men ask this question, they typically do not want a play-by-play of your entire day. Quite frankly, it's boring. And unless you have something specific you want to discuss with him, he really doesn't care about your coworker's son's Little League Game.

8. INITIATE SEX: Yes, sometimes men want women to be a bit more aggressive in the bedroom, especially if they tend to make the first move most of the time. Men do enjoy a chase. But after being together for a while, they need to feel wanted as well. Initiate sex a bit more often, and you could see dramatic improvements in your sex life.

7. "NOTHING'S WRONG" means, nothing is wrong: Sometimes that quiet, brooding type of man is simply having a quiet moment to himself. Women are the ones who ordinarily like to discuss and plan the details of almost everything. But men are more hands on. When they are quiet, it doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong - only that they are thinking.

6. "I LOVE YOU" isn't always said with words: Once women understand that men show love in a variety of ways, women will happier. Recognizing loving gestures will definitely help get the point across. Sometimes those three little words are being screamed loud and clear, with actions instead.

5. HE DOESN'T REALLY WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR PAST: Sure, you've had honest dialogue about your previous racy adventures. But guess what? Men don't want to know everything you've done, and EVERYONE you've done it with. A little mystery helps keep some of the fire alive. And besides, there is nothing wrong with keeping some private things, private.

4. DON'T BE A DOORMAT: Whoever coined the phrase that nice guys finish last, was actually onto something. While this doesn't mean that you should be rude or inconsiderate to your sweetie, it does mean that you should stand firm about things you believe in. Don't cave in to every whim for the sake of keeping your man around. In the end, it doesn't usually work anyway. Stand firm in your beliefs, and you'll maintain not only your integrity, but a healthy relationship.

3. HAVE A LIFE!: Make sure that you've got something going on the side. No, not someone or something. Activities, friends, and hobbies are all important in keeping you sane. It's fine to do things together. But no one can stand to be around someone 24 hours a day without there being tension from time to time. The phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder" has a huge ring of truth.

2. DON'T LET YOURSELF GO : This doesn't mean bending your looks to satisfy the whims of your man. And it doesn't mean refusing to wear a particular style that he likes. Women should make sure that they feel as sexy as they did on the day they met their mates. A few pounds here and there may not make a difference to your beau. But if you've gained over 100 lbs, first ask yourself if You are happy with it. If not, then do something about it - For You. A happier You makes for a happier "us".

1. COMPLIMENT HIM. - Men like and need to feel attractive too. However, make sure that the compliments are genuine. If you like the way he looks in his favorite shirt, say so. Not only is it a boost to his confidence, but it lets him know that he's still attractive to you as well!

HOW TO FIND A NEW DATE

HOW TO FIND A NEW DATE

To find a date so your friends say. Join us for dinner and find a date to bring this weekend they ask you. Where do I begin finding a date? And then you panic! Maybe you just want to find someone for yourself, and it has nothing to do with a social situation. Well done, I am glad. Now that you are in a positive frame of mind, finding a date should not be as daunting as it first sounds. You can perhaps think of seeking out a date as a military campaign, as your life work, or just as part of your everyday relaxed social life routine. You never know, one of these days they may well turn into something more than a date. Well, that’s if that’s what you want of course. In the meantime let us concentrate on the task in hand. Finding any date is never easy that’s true, but it can be relatively easy or hard depending on your attitude to it.

First of all, why are you trying to find a date? Are you looking for a date to fulfill a social function? If you are why not just borrow a friend to help you out. Why not even hire a date from one of the many outlets if you can afford it. Now there is a huge difference between hiring a social companion for an event and, well, you know what. Yes I am not in anyway condoning the other. I am simply suggesting that there are professional agencies who can help you pay for a good looking date if that’s the situation. That aside we are concentrating here on those who are looking for a date with the purpose of romance.

Well this is presupposing that you don’t usually meet people and there are not too many of us who never meet anyone. What is true though is that we often believe we don’t meet anyone suitable. Maybe we are a single parent with home responsibilities, or someone who works from home. Perhaps we work unsociable hours and never meet anyone to date. Maybe we work with people much younger or older, or perhaps we really don’t have finely honed social skills. It could be that we are shy, private, quiet in a group or just unwilling to make the first move. 

Well whatever the situation you need to take action. The first thing you want to do is top ensure your self esteem is at an all time high. You want to find a date you are going to have a great time with so make them feel special by looking good yourself
Give yourself a makeover
Buy some new clothes and update your image
Get a new haircut or hairstyle
Get a full beauty treatment and makeover
Visit your dentist and get those teeth looking pearl white
Get a tan and freshen your skin
Get to grips with latest styles and fashions
Treat yourself to a rejuvenating break
Read some new magazines and go shopping just to get the feel
Join a health club and get into a new health routine
Go on a diet and lose a few pounds or kilos if needed.
Take up a martial art or self defense classes
Have an increased positive mental attitude  
The next thing you need to do in preparation to find a date is to think long and hard as to what you really hope to achieve and whether you have any fixed aims and time scales. Have a clear idea of the person you are kind of looking for, but do not be too specific. Keep your aim as broad as you can and finding a date will be easier. The other thing I want to point out is to be realistic when looking to find a date. Don’t aim to date a Hollywood superstar if it’s not likely to happen. Keep your feet on the ground and take a long hard look at your own life before walking into someone else’s. If you are a multimillionaire then keep that detail to yourself for now.

Here are things you can do to help yourself find a date...

Dating Close to Home

Begin by looking close to home. Is there anyone in your neighborhood or family circle who is single with who you get on great. Often, people stay single simply because they are not asked out on a date by anyone, not because they themselves are lonely. It’s time to do the asking. And yes, that includes the good looking people in this world. There are lots of local clubs and activity places including evening classes. It is often the best place to introduce yourself to people of the opposite sex in your local community. Try to choose something that involves both sexes. I once met a fantastic date due to being involved in pottery classes which I greatly enjoyed.

Dating At Work

It is claimed that 87% of people working in London who are attached, met through work or started dating at work. This doesn’t mean that they work together, but that in some way, work brought them into contact. Indeed one of my best friends met his wife through a work related phone call. I do not think personally that dating at work or dating someone within your own office is a good idea due to the possibilities of fallout and neither do I think it is constructive to your career. Relationship tensions within an office can cause problems with other workers and can antagonize work related issues. So on that score I recommend you steer well clear.

However most organization are linked to other firms, there are many offices with many groups of working. If you don’t attend the office parties, then maybe begin. Try joining in after work or attending after work social events, from bowling to trips to the bar or comedy store. It is all about making new friends as much as finding a date.

If you really don’t have many people you work with or work from home like me then you are going to need to look at other ways of extending your social circle.

Get Physical

That’s right, join the gym. To find a date you should look your best. After all if you have set your sights high then doesn’t your potential date deserve the best too? Good, so get down to the local health club and look at the possibilities of getting involved in a regular health regime. If you do so already, expand your horizons and make sure you are not just at a unisex gym. Try other sports and healthy activities from yachting to running to baseball to anything you may not have tried before. You will make fabulous new friends as well as finding a date. And you will be fit.

Ask Your Friends

The most common complaint amongst people who are in their late 20’s and thirties is that all their friends are married. In which case my friends, it is time to adapt. Married friends will not help you find a date. They tell you they will when they can and they may if you are lucky even introduce you in a well meaning way to people who happen to be single. This can work. Double dating can sometimes do the trick. After all you should trust your friends. But more often that not it doesn’t help you find a date because your friends do not necessarily know who you are looking to meet. Really you need to be taking control and finding a date yourself.

In which case you need some single friends. Flash - its easier finding a date with a group of like-minded people. Oh yes. I know your married friends are your longest companions and I know that they may not approve of a group of new single friends, but trying to fond a date alone can be a lot harder than seeing a date with a group of like minded friends. In other words, there is confidence and safety when socializing in numbers. This will in turn open up new places and venues for you to visit. Your confidence levels may well increase exponentially too.

You can find new single friends everywhere. They are at work, close to home, at your clubs in your gym. You simply need to make some new friends and then join in. It is not as hard as you think. If you sat at home you will not find them, if you go out you will. When was the last time you phoned your old friends to catch up? Go do it now.

Join a Club

Activities really do bring people together and create new friends. If you are involved in something like a craft, or hobby, or sport then you are with like minded people already. You have something in common and it is a great icebreaker. If you are not a member of any club then consider what you are interested in and then consider if such an activity will introduce you to others. In most cases it will do. And consider this, there are many people also looking for a date who are also joining clubs for the same reason.

Join a Dating Agency

Dating agencies used to have a stigma attached but not anymore. Now its extremely fashionable finding a date online. Well your friends may suggest this is crazy but why is it? What do they know about it anyway? Nothing, exactly! Dating and finding a date is fun and very enjoyable. After all dating is about meeting new people and searching for a special connection. Dating agencies fall into two camps; traditional and Internet. The first are those traditional dating agencies which help you find a date but charge many hundreds of dollars to offer you the chance of meeting a few people they have manually matched you with in their database. They will then offer you the chance of meeting that person if both agree. It’s slow and long winded but it does work sometimes, though rarely are there guarantees of any kind. The main thing about such dating agencies is that they are often specialized in a certain area, maybe profession or financial level e.t.c Some may concentrate on the medical or legal profession; others may focus on say, executives in a certain region.

Internet Dating Agencies

The second kind of agency is the professional Internet dating and friendship agency accessible from your home PC. Most often, Like True, they are free to register with so that you can see who is in their database. The beauty of Internet dating agencies is that they are instantly accessible and you can search people you match with in private and comfort without spending a penny. You can view online photo Personals to help you find a date and you can take your time.

It is important when seeking a date to choose a reputable Internet dating agency such as www.True.com which can provide you not just with personal ads but also a safe and secure environment with advice and articles to read. When you are ready you can make contact with a database member anonymously through onsite e-mail, chat rooms and private instant messaging. Companies like True dating now even include voicemail services so you can listen to a prospective date’s voice.

After paying a small fee, you can communicate with as many members as you wish , safely and securely and very soon you may find that you have arranged not just one date but you have found dates for whenever you like. It is down to you. No standing in singles bars or being hit upon by strangers, or having to think up opening lines. Just convenient and relaxed dating whenever you choose.

If you aim to find a date, you should begin straight away. It is not always easy to take a step like this if you have been out of the dating arena for years. Maybe you have separated or divorce or been bereaved. In which case, do try and lift your spirits and take your romantic life back into your grasp. Think through the ideas I suggest and add some yourself also and maybe now take the initiative. Life is meant for living, but even more importantly, I believe its means for sharing with someone special. Find a date for yourself this week but more importantly, feel good about yourself.

HOW TO OVERCOME A BAD DATING EXPERIENCE

HOW TO OVERCOME A BAD DATING EXPERIENCE

So, how can you get away from a bad date, without embarrassing yourself and the other person? 

Be Honest 

So, your current escape plans includes bad table manners, checking other people out and using the restroom for a very long time. Do you really think you're doing anyone any favors? It's more likely that you are only making a fool out of yourself. 

Instead, just be upfront with your date. Tell them, "Look, there is no hope for romance between us and I would like to end our date right now". Keep your integrity. 

Don’t forget that the other person has feelings too. Show them some compassion. You do not want to leave a permanent scar on his or her dating experience. How would you like it if you had to wait 45 minutes for someone to use the restroom? 

Besides, they may actually end up being a better friend than a date. 

Tell White Lies

So, you are not comfortable with telling your date the truth and you also do not want to hurt them. Now what? Try telling your date a white lie. 

Some good ones include, "I am not feeling well tonight," "I have to get up early tomorrow morning," and "I have to get home before (whatever) time." 

Just remember to use only one white lie for every bad date. Do not use more than one because your date will see through your lies and you will end up looking foolish. 

Your white lie is well intentioned, so don't feel guilty about it. Not all lies are bad. 

Do NOT Take The Blame 

If you can't bring yourself to tell your date a white lie, then you should place the blame on an external circumstance that you have no control over. 

Tell them something believable. You could say, "I do not have time for a relationship right now because I am really busy at work." Avoid anything that sounds ludicrous like, "My mom will not let me date anymore." 

Again, use only one external circumstance for every awful date that you have. Use more than one and your date will get the impression (ahem, realize) that you are making up excuses. 

Placing the blame on an outside circumstance will help you get away from your date a lot easier without hurting anyone's feelings or making things awkward. 

Choose A Busy Location 

When you go out with someone for the first time, it's impossible to know whether the date will be good or bad. Therefore, it is best to choose somewhere busy to go out on your first date. The place should be well lit and have a lot of people around. 

Choosing somewhere busy will make it easier for you and your date to get along because there will be more things to discuss. Having a lot of people around eases the tension and helps you stop feeling like you are under the microscope. It's also a quick way to end the date because you could say that you need to go somewhere nearby and then blend in with the crowd. It's not as awkward as leaving someone alone at a dinner table. 

Keep in mind that you should always bring plenty of cash for a taxi or a bus. You cannot rely on your date to take you home, if you choose this option. 

Make It A Double Date 

If you feel that you cannot leave your date, then why not change the situation and make it a double date. 

Let your date know that you would like to bring another couple. By having a friend or two along, you can take the date from horrible to fun. Why waste a perfect evening? Everyone can end up having a good time. 

However, if your date rejects the idea of taking along another couple, assure them that in no way will this affect your own date.

HOW TO FALL IN LOVE NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK

HOW TO FALL IN LOVE NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Would you like to fall in love? In spite of what everyone else says, do you want to believe love is out there for you? Have you heard how all the good ones are gone, no one wants to make a commitment these days, and everyone is married?

There are lots of negative voices that will tell you that love might exist but you will probably never find it. Don't believe them. Here are some of the ways you can fight off the messengers of hollow hope:

* Stay away from conversations that lead to conclusions of hopelessness.

Just because that is someone else's opinion doesn't mean it has to be yours. Look for conversations of possibility that start with words like, "I can," and "I will."

* Resist being manipulated by the media.

The media may whisper or scream that you need to look or act in a certain way in order to attract someone. People who are overweight, bald, past the age of 50 or more, driving a late model car, or wearing '60s polyester suits meet and fall in love every day. So can you.

* Pay attention to selective exposure.

People who feel and think the same way begin to believe that this collective viewpoint is a law. If you think there is no one out there for you and you have gathered unto yourself five or ten friends who think the same way, then you are going to be rooted in this belief, and you will act accordingly. Make a conscious effort to find and hang out with friends who have a belief of possibility and hope.

Build a bank of people who can resist the voices that say all the good ones are gone. In fact, the next time you hear that phrase, stand up and be heard say, "All the good ones can not possibly be gone I'm still here!"